I get so caught up in what I'm lacking. What I don't have. Lacking intelligence. Being envious of others for what they have that I don't. This can't ever be productive. No matter the wealth of the world I obtain, I will never be satisfied. It is good to appreciate what I do have. Be grateful for the things I have now. The relationships I have. The people that love me. What are we all ultimately searching for? Love. Acceptance. Peace. Kindness. Rest. Love. Choose Love. I can easily let myself fall into bitterness and cynicism. Narcissism. Lose hope. Decide I'm not smart enough or capable enough to move forward. Choose suicidal ideations. Stop wearing my seatbelt in the car. Not caring if I live or die. Sufjan Stevens.