WHATISTHESOURCE? THIS IS MY BLOG.

Well, there's techniques of thought. Different avenues you can travel through. Different dimensions.

Stop talking at people. They hate that. Talk to them.

i like going for walks and writing. I should get a walking desk. a little shoulder desk to write pen and paper.

NOT THAT SMART

I'm not that smart. I'm one of those people that don't quite grasp, or even enjoy at times, smart stuff. Like movies and music. EXCEPT FOR MAD MAX I LOVE THAT MOVIE. I'm smart enough to know the material is smart. I have a desire to learn. I like making sense of the world around me. Sometimes I'm pretentious. I try to say big words because I enjoy communicating. Not being able to communicate well frustrates me. I like the art of communication. Body language and tonal fluctuations. I don't completely understand myself. Sometimes I talk about things I know nothing about. I hate it when I do that. I hate it when other people do that. We're all going to die. Honesty is the best policy.

Broken dreams and football teams

Today I'll do yoga, therapy, gym. Then work today. Last night I watched "Breakfast at Tiffany's" with Audrey Hepburn. She's cool. Good movie. I'm listening to Sturgill Simpson. I practiced the guitar last night. I'm debating on whether or not to take Kratom before Yoga. I need to pack a lunch. Hard boiled eggs. Rice cakes. Transatlantic accents. Old Hollywood. Cary Grant. Darling.

I get so caught up in what I'm lacking. What I don't have. Lacking intelligence. Being envious of others for what they have that I don't. This can't ever be productive. No matter the wealth of the world I obtain, I will never be satisfied. It is good to appreciate what I do have. Be grateful for the things I have now. The relationships I have. The people that love me. What are we all ultimately searching for? Love. Acceptance. Peace. Kindness. Rest. Love. Choose Love. I can easily let myself fall into bitterness and cynicism. Narcissism. Lose hope. Decide I'm not smart enough or capable enough to move forward. Choose suicidal ideations. Stop wearing my seatbelt in the car. Not caring if I live or die. Sufjan Stevens.

doesn't need title

I'm going to try and keep this as 100 as possible. I have a tough time. I don't think right. Pretention sucks. Sometimes it might be useful, though. It's been so damn hard to find truth. I know the right way to treat people. I know priorities should be placed in relationships and selfless directions. I know to find true peace and joy I must learn to release selfish desires; image, materialism, pride, envy. I've been dealing with depression, anxiety, and fatigue for so long. My entire adult life. I still have yet to find the answer. October 30, 2016. I'm just a dude. I need to work hard. I need to not conform. I need to embrace myself. Purity. Wisdom comes from God. I'm so overwhelmed. I miss my old, happy-go-lucky self. I want to be inspired again. Creative and motivated.